Create a Scene Tuesday (9)

Hi, again! Hope you enjoyed the weekend! I kind of went with a different point of view for this week, so I hope enjoy reading/ writing this week’s scene.

For rules – please see Create a Scene Tuesdays. For last weeks entries – click here!

This week:

 Character – A Bully (male, female, magical, etc…)

 Action – Picking on Another Person

 Setting – A Forest Like Setting

My entry: Nathan sat on a large boulder at the edge of the woods as his senor high school biology class wandered into the forest, identifying the shrubs and trees. He smirked enjoying the time off. He would ace the exam anyway, he always did.

He caught sight of Ben as he carried a pile of books on poisonous plants, spiders, insects, and snakes. On top, tucked under his chin, were a survival guide and a snake bit kit. Nerd alert, Nathan smile and placed his foot in front of Ben. Ben’s books and papers went flying from his hands as he collapsed into the leaf littered ground. Nathan laughed at the scene.

“Have a nice trip, Benny?” Nathan stood up, stepping onto Ben’s back and forcing his face into the dirt.

“Oh,” a stern voice growled, “would you leave him alone!”

Nathan looked at the willowy figure standing before him. Amber, his adversary, glared with her arms crossed.

Nathan stepped forward, “Why don’t you make me?”

“‘Why don’t you make me?’ Is that really the best you can do?” Amber snorted, shaking her head. “You know, Nathan, there are days were you are just the biggest idiot in the school.”

Nathan snapped. He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her back into the trunk of a tree. Amber’s heart raced and her breathing became rapid. Nathan stared into her calm, cool eyes. He had struck others for less, but as he looked into her eyes he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her. Not Amber. He hated her, but she was also his one weakness. Somewhere, down in his heart, he loved her.

5 thoughts on “Create a Scene Tuesday (9)

  1. You have packed complexity in this small scene, Kelsey! I feel myself soften for Nathan at the end (just a bit). Well done!

    The woods are in mine as the scene, although they kind of share the stage with a hospital room. I really like how these exercises allow me to see where ideas go on their own. Thank you!


    With great effort, the man lying on the hospital bed opened his eyes and looked at the priest.

    “Talk to me, Ed,” the priest said. “Is there anything you want to confess?”

    “No confession.” The words were slow, deliberate syllables. Father O’Donnell leaned in closer.

    “What then, Ed? I know you have something to say to me.”

    “You know my brother Henry?”

    “Yes, Ed. He goes to my church.”

    For the first time, he saw the corners of Ed’s mouth curve upward, ever so slightly.

    “Henry was always stronger, always mother’s favorite. He could climb trees. A monkey, Mother called him. I couldn’t. Scared of being that high. Too scared.”

    The man closed his eyes and lay quietly for several minutes. The priest waited, knowing that he must not interrupt or prod.

    Henry began again. “Henry climbed a tree in the woods behind our house, near the river. He dared me to follow. He knew I couldn’t. Knew I’d wet my pants the month before trying to climb a tree on a dare from the Jenkins boys and they’d beat me up afterwards. Henry, he wasn’t scared of anything. He went onto a limb over the river, too far. I told him to come down. He just laughed. ‘What you going to do? Come and get me? You’re supposed to be the older one.’ He balanced on one leg on the branch where he stood. I can still see the sun slanting through the tree behind him. ‘You make me embarrassed. What a –‘ And he feel. The back of his coat caught on a branch, and he was hanging from the tree with the coat cutting his throat like a noose.

    “I couldn’t move. I knew I should have climbed the tree to get him down, or kept him from going in the first place. I was responsible, you see. But I couldn’t move, so I prayed. Every prayer I knew. Our Father who art in heaven… Hail Mary full of grace…. Even the meal blessing, as fast and as hard as I could. But he just hung there, staring at me with those eyes of his that got bigger and bigger, his face red. So I did the only other thing I could so. I told the devil he could have my soul if he saved Henry.”

    The priest willed himself not to flinch, not to breathe, not to think. The walls of the hospital room seemed a mirage, as if distorted by gasoline fumes on a hot day.

    “Then the back of Henry’s coats ripped clean up the back, opened like the Red Sea, and he fell into the creek. He broke his arm. That was all.”

    The last three words were mere rasps, and the priest knew he would hear no more.


    1. OMG! I think I would first try the Greek Gods and Goddesses, or the tree spirits, or even the angel of Death before I turn to the Devil. Of course, I don’t want to find out 🙂 . Major Shivers – very well written, Lisa!


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